We are officially less than six months away from our very expensive African adventure.  Prior to committing to this trip, we spent a great deal of time researching cancellation insurance that would cover us in the event we were placed through adoption before our departure date.  Shockingly, not many travel insurance options offered the coverage we were looking for.  And the insurance is expensive!!  We decided to buy cancellation insurance for the cost of our deposit as it was due 10 months before our departure date.  With the remaining cost of our trip due at the end of April, we had originally planned to put our names “on hold” on the adoption wait list from the time our final deposit was paid in April until we returned from our trip late August.  Being on hold means that we stay on the wait list and move spots as other families are placed, but our profile will not be shown. We figured once we had spent all that money and were emotionally invested in this trip, there was no point in wasting more money and insuring the remaining cost of the trip.  Ultimately, the odds of us being selected in year 2 on the wait list are still quite slim.

Last week, when we heard that our profile was shown once in the last 5 months, we started to feel differently.  What if putting ourselves “on hold” from late April to late August takes away a potential opportunity to be shown again?  As thrilled as we are to take this trip of a lifetime, we would gladly trade it in a heart beat for the chance to finally become parents.  Investing in the expensive cancellation insurance for the remainder of our trip cost now seems like an easy decision.

With this comes the next dilemma.  On Friday I had some of the initial vaccinations required for this trip. Many of the medications I have taken or will need to take for Africa are not safe for a fetus.  The person giving me the injections advised that I should avoid trying to get pregnant for at least 8 weeks after these injections. Ha!!  If he only knew!! Also, the outbreak of the Zika virus weighs on my mind. At this point, I’ve basically given up all hope on getting pregnant, but it sure would be ironic for it to happen when it isn’t safe for my body to do so.  For this reason, I am seriously contemplating getting back on birth control until after our trip.  It feels like the most responsible thing for us to do even though it takes away any hope of us miraculously conceiving on our own.  These months feel precious when you age and you know your eggs are becoming less and less viable.

Really, Africa is a distraction.  I’m just trying to live my life while in the midst of this agonizing wait.  But I don’t want becoming a parent to come at any risk to the wellness of a child.  I’m feeling like our best bet is keep our name on the wait list while taking the appropriate precautions to not get pregnant when it is unsafe to do so.  It’s been so long since I’ve tried to not get pregnant, I can’t even imagine what it would be like!!



3 thoughts on “Dilemma

  1. Hi there. My husband and I are also a waiting family and I think you’re making the right decision not to be “on hold.” While these things do seem to happen at the most inconvenient moment possible, it will still be worth it. I considered putting going on hold while we tried another round of IVF, but didn’t and am glad– we have been waiting for a year and TTC for 3. Even if it’s hard/scary, I’m in a place of no more delays!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We were in a similar position last spring. We planned a trip to London and knew we would be out the money should we get placed. It is almost a year later and we are still waiting, so I also think keeping yourself available is wise. Keeping my fingers crossed that “the call” comes as soon as the plane lands back stateside:).

    Liked by 1 person

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