Moving forward…

Depression and infertility go hand in hand. There have been periods in the last few years where grief and loss feel all consuming. A sad byproduct has become my complete disregard for my physical well being. This body has failed to give me what I want so desperately so my mentality has been not to take proper care of it. I’m the heaviest I have been in years.  I joke that I have been eating my feelings and that is literally the truth.  I’m tired of feeling sick and tired

Today is a new day. I am back on birth control and the pressure to conceive is behind us. Adoption will be our path to parenthood. I will allow myself days to wallow when needed but I feel ready to be kind to my body and to stop punishing it for its shortcomings. I know I need to make some serious changes in how I choose to eat and exercise but I feel ready. And I’m posting my intentions because I know it will help me to stick with this goal.  Hell, if I can’t be pregnant, I might as well try to find comfort and appreciation for pants without an elastic waistband!!

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3 thoughts on “Moving forward…

  1. I think this is the hardest part of infertility, probably because it’s the one part we can “control”. My reproductive parts may not function, but I can control what goes in to my body. But it’s not at all easy and I, too, have failed miserably. Good for you for deciding to change things. I’m trying to do the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Truly. I had worked so hard to take care of myself before and during the years we were trying to conceive. Once I realized we weren’t going to get pregnant, I figured, what’s the point? Glad you’re giving your body some love. I had to apologize to my ovaries when it was all said and done. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I know where you are coming from I gained 30 lbs after my first pregnancy loss. Good luck with the adoption process. I’m one of those weird people that always wanted to adopt a baby, then of course I learned about the process! When you think about it adoption is pretty similar to becoming a mom the old fashioned way it can be overwhelming at times but so rewarding.

    Liked by 1 person

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