Depression and infertility go hand in hand. There have been periods in the last few years where grief and loss feel all consuming. A sad byproduct has become my complete disregard for my physical well being. This body has failed to give me what I want so desperately so my mentality has been not to take proper care of it. I’m the heaviest I have been in years. I joke that I have been eating my feelings and that is literally the truth. I’m tired of feeling sick and tired
Today is a new day. I am back on birth control and the pressure to conceive is behind us. Adoption will be our path to parenthood. I will allow myself days to wallow when needed but I feel ready to be kind to my body and to stop punishing it for its shortcomings. I know I need to make some serious changes in how I choose to eat and exercise but I feel ready. And I’m posting my intentions because I know it will help me to stick with this goal. Hell, if I can’t be pregnant, I might as well try to find comfort and appreciation for pants without an elastic waistband!!