Blocked Numbers

I missed a blocked call on my personal phone while at work.  No voicemail was left.  I talked myself out of being crazy for all of 10 minutes before caving in and calling our adoption agency.  It’s highly unlikely that’s who called, but any time they have called, it has been from a blocked number.  I was so triggered and fired up that the only thing I could do was call the agency to soothe myself.

We don’t want to be pests…we are trying to be so respectful of this process.  But I figured I could ask a couple of reasonable questions to help me and hubby cope a little better with the unknown that lays ahead.

I was connected with the social worker who has been supporting the birthparent who viewed our file.  Despite feeling like a volcano full of questions, I limited myself to two.  “Will you let us know either way?” and “Has she read our home study yet?”

The social worker assured me she would certainly let us know regardless of whether this opportunity moves forward or not.  She hoped to reconnect with us again by the end of the week. Phew! A timeline.  I love timelines.

And yes.  Birthmother and her family have read our profile.  And they are taking some time to think things over.  Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!  Our home study, which is basically a diary of all things us, both great and bad, has been read….by a family….who could become part of our family.  Cue pounding heart.

We are choosing gratitude that we were able to learn the details we could today.  I am feeling so thankful to even be considered this early in our wait.  What a gift to have made it this far in the process.  My heart is already with this mother facing this incredibly complicated decision.  This is my first taste of what it will be like trying to balance my want for our dream to come true while feeling compassion and heartache for the one who will choose grief for herself to benefit her child.

Please let this week speed by.  And please let this birth family feel love and support from those around them as they consider their options.


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