Dear Little One,
For the first time in this process, you are a real, tangible being. More than a want, or a wish, or a dream; but a real person, growing. Waiting to join this world. I don’t know if we are meant for one another yet, but I hope we are. The idea of you has been in our hearts for a very long time. As the years go by, the more I think of you and wish you were here. I want to be excited for the possibility of you joining us soon, but this process has hurt my heart more times than I can count. I vacillate between feeling cautious and hopeful.
Now that I know you exist, you weave your way through my thoughts more times than I can count in a day. The warmth of the sun on my face when I walk with the dogs; the drive to work; choosing what to eat for dinner. I think of how my day would be different; better; right in this moment, if you were in our lives. We are so ready for you to be here.
We count the minutes until we get some news…if this growing baby is not you, we will honour our grief and choose acceptance. We will be thankful to have been considered and respect that we are not meant to be parents quite yet. But our faith that this process will eventually bring us to you is stronger than ever.
Thinking of you…