Any day now. These two precious little ones that we learned about in early September will arrive in this world soon. By my calculations, birthmother is 35 and a half weeks along. From my obsessive googling about gestation of twins, I am thrilled they have baked as long as they have but know labour could come at any time.
Our agency shared that birthmother has not be in contact recently. Maybe she has chosen to parent. Maybe she is terrified of what lays ahead and is taking some time to herself. Maybe she will choose adoption and maybe she won’t choose us. Either way, what feels like an eternity of limbo will finally come to a close. And I feel relieved at the thought of it. The hospital social worker is aware of this family and will be in contact with the agency to provide an update should she choose parenting or open adoption.
We will be heartbroken if this is not our turn. Truly, twins would be the only opportunity we might ever have of having more than two children. But at this stage, I would would rather be in grief than in limbo. No more checking my phone a million times a day. No more living two lives (e.g. simultaneously planning a trip to India in two months vs researching formula and strollers).
I know if we are not selected, it could only be a short while before we are back in a similar position of knowing we are being considered but having weeks or even months in between a final decision. After the ups and downs of these last three months, I hope the universe has an instant placement in store for us so I don’t spend the moments that my brain is not occupied with work or socializing stuck in the endless cycle of “what if.”
Even though this has been hard for us, I remind myself of how much harder it is for this birthmother. And my thoughts and prayers are with her today and in the days ahead.