I am going to be a mom. I am elated and terrified. I am hopeful and skeptical. I am overwhelmed and reassured. I am ALL of the feelings. A part of my heart now exists outside of my body.
We were so nervous for the match meeting. We are mindful that our excitement for the future also means that this precious birth mother is going to experience one of the most painful times of her life. We don’t want to make assumptions about anything and want so much for her to take the lead so we can be respectful of her and her process.
In meeting her, we were overwhelmed by her grace and maturity. There is no doubt that she truly wants the very best for baby. Our conversation flowed quite easily. She said she picked us because our profile felt most “genuine.” What a gift. I want so badly for her to be part of our family and I am hopeful she will choose to keep in frequent contact with us.
After all spending some time getting to know one another, our social worker asked everyone whether it felt like a match. We all agreed it does and that we would like to move forward. I feel scared things could change. Hubby, as always is a beacon of optimism. In debriefing after, we decided that whether we choose excitement or caution over the next five weeks does not change the outcome so we have decided to choose joy. We are shouting from the rooftops that we have been matched.
Our lives are about to change drastically so very quickly. I am giving notice of a parental leave at work today and have a month to terminate with my beloved clients. Hubby will cancel his trip to Peru for which he was supposed to leave tomorrow. It just doesn’t make any sense to go as the due date is three days after he was meant to come home. We will look into whether it’s possible to induce lactation in this time frame.
We exchanged contact information with A, our birth mother. She indicated she would like some time with us as her due date approaches. I cannot wait to get to know her.
I saw photos of my son yesterday. We are going to have a little boy.